“It is not that we have so little time but that we lose so much. … The life we receive is not short but we make it so; we are not ill provided but use what we have wastefully.” ― Seneca
Turning demotivation into motivation can be an eye-rolling bombardment of “stay positive”, “keep at it” and “work harder” messages that are seldom useful. If like me, you’ve felt a serious case of the “ceebs” from time to time (or constantly, it’s OK to admit), you’re probably keen to find motivation and keep it.
Understanding motivation starts with the science of how demotivation affects us in the first place. Here we can decide what to do and how we can keep the momentum of motivation flowing.
Why are we kept in the slumps of “can’t be bothered” and what are the solutions to turn demotivation into motivation?
Demotivator #1: The Failure-Success Paradox
Craving success is normal, in fact we strive for success so much that we often don’t achieve it because of fear of failure. Failure itself is relative because in order to succeed we have to fail at something… Say what?
If you’re a successful entrepreneur, you’ve likely failed at being a ballroom dancer or string instrument musician (or chosen the prior over the latter). You can consider it opportunity cost, but as Mark Manson says “…the way we can only be truly successful at something is if we’re willing to fail at it. It we’re unwilling to fail, we’re unwilling to succeed.”
Failure can be painful, but some of our greatest achievements stem from the hardest adversities. A simple example is childbirth. Enormous pain, and despite never having a child myself, I’ve seen the indescribable joy on the parents faces.
Values and metrics were discussed in an earlier post on connecting the dots. Values are relevant to failure because the pain of failure is not only a good lesson, but a good metric to review our lives and why things haven’t worked.
Solution: Embrace The Process
If we fear failure that it becomes a demotivator to success, the solution is embracing the process. The Process was a concept coined by University of Alabama’s football coach Nick Saban which taught players to focus on doing the smallest things well; practicing with full effort, converting a single action or finishing a specific play.
Saban’s psychology wasn’t focused on the big picture of winning games, championships or sizing down on the opponents lead, but on how each small component led to success on a bigger scale.
Hugging failure immediately with open arms is unlikely to occur. But the key is to understand that in order to succeed, some failure is inevitable. Some pain may need to be endured.
Writing posts for Reintention only occurred because I failed many times before getting off the mark. Failure was necessary to get to where I am now and I’ll need to continue failing in order to keep improving and growing.
Following the process allows you to assemble things correctly bit by bit, and be better equipped to deal with obstacles incurred along the way. The better equipped you are the more likely you’re going to succeed and be motivated to continue.
Demotivator #2: Stifling Negative Experiences
Negative experiences derail us from the train of motivation at lightening speed. Negative experiences could be a bad day to something as big as a failed relationship, job or family issue.
Spiralling negative experiences are demotivating because they keep us in a low place. Relieving these experiences occur by diverting focus towards something easier to deal with. This diversion is only temporary and continues to demotivate because our efforts aren’t on things of greatest value nor necessarily the most important.
Laziness is the simplest explanation to slap on demotivation, however at the root of demotivation from any negative source is an underlying sense of discomfort.
This discomfort arises in two forms:
- Victimisation — X, Y, Z has happened to me, therefore I am helpless
- Entitlement — My problems is above anyone else’s problems therefore I am special
Solution: Overrule by ‘Doing’
We all have days where we don’t feel like doing anything. Motivation is manifested through action. Do something. Anything. In a backwards mentality, we think motivation is required to generate action, when motivation is an endless loop.
Action creates motivation and motivation inspires action which motivates further. Therefore action turns demotivation into motivation.
Action → Inspiration → Motivation → Inspiration → Action…
Doing move us from a position of disempowerment to a position of empowerment. Conversely, doing also brings to light that our problems aren’t different to what anyone else is experiencing.
Procrastination dies because action assists in adopting new metrics to our values, creating something we stand for which allows change to happen.
I’d recently returned from Korea and was confronted with an undealt issue where I struggled to find motivation for days (especially when you’re not in flow).
Finishing a book and two book summaries in one night I avoided berating myself. Those summaries inspired me to write this post. Writing this post motivated me to finish another. See how it happens?
There’s nothing wrong with taking time out when you’re not ‘feeling’ it. The delineation is the value that action or inaction creates. Spending time with friends or alone reading is not a waste of time if it adds value to your life. Move and evaluate what effect “doing” has on your motivation.
Demotivator #3: Overwhelm by Magnitude and Choice
Parkinson’s Law states that ‘work expands in the time available for its completion’. Give yourself 10 days to finish a project, it’ll take 10 days. Lag in completion is likely due to demotivation.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed when we view our job to be done as a mountainous task. If you’ve ever had so much to do yet don’t start at all you know what I mean. The vicious cycle of demotivation repeats.
Excessive choice also demotivates because we want ‘make the right choice’ and therefore don’t progress from our need to to ‘know’ everything and ‘be 100% right’.
Comprehending that growth is an incomplete and iterative process, turns demotivation into motivation. Improvements yield from being wrong, to less wrong, not from being straight from wrong to right.
Starting without all the answers and progressing is the only way to uncover them because through action the answers follow. Sprinkle some failed learnings in and you’ve finished a complete feedback loop.
In Seth Godin’s ‘The Dip‘ he explores a supermarket analogy to explain people’s behaviour around choice:
You’re at a supermarket checkout. One person sticks in the short line and sticks to it no matter how slow or faster the others seem to be going. Another changes lines repeatedly based on whatever they think saves a few seconds. A third switches only once; when it is clear their line is delayed and there is a clear alternative.
Transforming the overwhelm of choice and multitude of work requires prioritising, breaking down tasks and a level of commitment.
Solution: Prioritise, Break Down and Commit
Breaking down the fright of overwhelm involves a process of prioritising and separating activities into smaller units. Dave Allen’s ‘Getting Things Done’ summaries this process into 5 steps:
- Collecting Work
- Processing Work — Actionable? Do, Defer or Delegate
- Organising Work
- Reviewing Work
- Doing It
Motivation to succeed requires confining yourself to achieving a goal and rejecting alternatives. Keeping motivation requires the discernment of tasks, people or values to hold onto and which to not.
Shifting demotivation into motivation takes courage and discipline to do things differently and not be flighty. Ultimately doing so won’t bring success and leave you with mediocracy instead of something magnificent.
My friend’s goal of studying well to teach English overseas required her commitment to non distraction. So she deleted social media. She loved both the process and the end goal. That was her motivation.
My objective to build Reintention requires eliminating things that didn’t help me work harder and better. I had to assess and evaluate to resolve my issue because it wasn’t just affecting me personally. My motivation was to keep motivated and keep going.
Pause & Reflect:
- What do I want to achieve and am I demotivated because I am afraid to fail?
- How do difference experiences affect my motivation and what can I do to bounce back?
- Is my view of perfection and choices keeping me from committing to see something through?
