Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world — Arthur Schopenhauer
Myths about personal reinvention stem from all corners; from what we’re told from people in our life, to the material we consume to our influences or beliefs (whether empowering or limiting).
Embarking on my reinvention journey this past year, I want to debunk common myths I’ve come across; whether you’re reinventing yourself or know someone around who’s in reinvention.
1. You Always Know What to Say
Speechlessness occurred long before I left my job at a big 4 Australian bank. If you’ve read other posts on Reintention, I’ve mentioned this blog’s inception started over a number of start-and-stop attempts.
Partying away at Christmas last year a girl I’d just met asked what I did for a living. “I work in process improvement at a bank” I said dully, “…but I’m starting my own thing!”
“What?” She asked excitedly.
Stunned with a deer-in-the-headlights expression I stared at her blankly and my initial enthusiasm was reminiscent of this Homer expression.
Since then I’ve embodied Homer and the likes of “what do I say?” more often than not when people have asked me:
- What I do
- So…what is your product?
- Filling out paperwork under “occupation“
- Are you going to find a ‘job’?
- What is the problem you’re trying to solve?
Difficulty in articulating what you’re doing will occur while reinventing yourself. I’ve just accepting that discomfort is a part of going against the status quo and doing something meaningful, and rather expect that it ever goes away, embracing that it is part of the process.
Confronting these conversations is what transformational coach Chris Lee advises. Tell the truth and take responsibility of your interpretation and attitude in any interaction.
The myth that you always have to have a perfect answer is not true. It’s OK to acknowledge that you don’t know and are still figuring it out.
I found having a pre-prepared answer has helped navigate this sticky conversation. Allow your story to leave room for questions and commentary, but don’t make it robotic or formulaic.
Mock Conversation
Person: “So what do you do with yourself?”
Me: [Smile] “I used to be a corporate employee within a bank. An opportunity came up which led me to leave and start my own thing. I’m building a personal reinvention blog which focuses on empowering people to better understand themselves and equipping them with tools to navigate their careers and lives. Currently I’m growing awareness and audience and hope to expand this further”.
I’ve addressed the past (when), the situation (what/why), action (how) and my future intent.
Knowing that a solid response indicates that you understand your why, have confidence in what you’re trying to do and have clarity in what you’re trying to achieve.
2. Your Life is Glamorous
A second myth about personal reinvention is that it’s glamorous. Working towards fulfilment and doing work you enjoy is rewarding, albeit not always fabulous.
It struck me as odd and still does that an overarching response upon leaving the bank was envy. “Lucky you”, “I wish I could leave and do what I want too”. The latter was always succeeded by “if” and ‘but’.
Achieving a life of meaning, purpose and fulfilment is impossible if you don’t start.
Riding the reinvention rollercoaster will leave you feeling invincible on some days and other days like this: #youngleo
You may be faced with constraints, fears, doubts, you may break things. You may not get that job or interview or accepted into that new course. People may say ‘no’ to you multiple times.
Embracing the trough of sorrow through preparation, execution and anticipating failure means you’re open to opportunity for growth and learning. Virtues of Stoic philosophy include practical wisdom and courage. Practical wisdom is the guiding mindset to navigate complex situations and courage is to do what is right in any given situation.
The slow growth in Reintention has taught me that I need to evolve my approach to marketing and distribution.
What about others around me? Having EQ and awareness for those disrupting themselves is vital in them feeling understood and building sense of community rather than feel isolated.
3. You Have to Do Everything
My mind lit up while reading Tim Ferriss’ ‘4 Hour Work Week’ that the key to kicking-ass at life was summed up by ‘DEAL‘. Here I’m going to focus on E and A — elimination and automation.
When my to-do list began exploding despite hustling away at it, this message was further reinforced. Standing on the shoulders of giants, one of my greatest learnings to date is that practically everything can be automated or eliminated.
Killed was the myth that you have to do, do do.
If something is time consuming and laborious, someone has likely found a way to automate it.
Some of the tools I use for Reintention are:
- Buzzsumo — influencer and popular content research tool
- Mailchimp — email marketing and subscription tool
- Unroll — great mass email unsubscription tool
- Trello / Evernote — the modern exercise book and so much more…#kanban
- Buffer / MeetEdgar — content scheduling across multiple social media platforms
- LinkedIn Helper — automates a variety of LinkedIn functionality- adding contacts, sending in-messages
- Supahands — virtual assistant
4. You Know All the Answers
Born in the Information Age we are surrounded by a plethora of messages and data at any given moment. Here was the birthplace of the unrealistic myth: we need to know all the answers and risks before making any decision.
Reality is we never have a complete picture of anything despite avoiding uncertainty at all costs. This is known as the information gap.
The information gap is how much data we’re able to obtain about a situation compared to how much information we want about it.
The greater the gap the more uncomfortable we feel and are closed off to new experiences or risks. Taking on uncertainty does yield benefits as Frank H Knight said in his book ‘Risk, Uncertainty and Profit’, “entrepreneurs would earn profits as a return for putting up with uncertainty”.
Relieving the fear of the unknown requires an acceptance that:
- Uncertainty is a part of life
- The unknown can enhance our life if we chose to embrace it
- You will never know everything
- Seek out useful information that is available
- It’s perfectly OK to say “I don’t know”.
- Instead of avoiding uncertainty, the core of uncertainty is where advancement and growth takes place.
Balancing questioned reason and support is a fine line to those reinventing around you. As Business Boutique Christy Wright says, “As a dreamer, I don’t look into the detail, so I surround myself with detailed people. But the key to supporting anyone is being able to give feedback, but also being able to respond to feedback appropriately”.
5. You Always Have to be ON
Popularised are the 10–16 hour work days of bigwig consultancies and successful people. While a large commitment is often required to make big change, there’s also the risk of burning yourself to the ground.
Buzzing constantly is problematic if it’s detrimental to other aspects of your life:
- Physical and mental health
- Relationships — interpersonal and with others
- Financially
- Productivity
Bustling is different to achieving where acting with intention is different to action with no goal in mind. The flip side to bustling is being paralysed by overwhelm — both are unhelpful extremes.
Huffington Post co-founder Arianna Huffington frequently speaks how her collapse due to exhaustion and burnout was the wake up call she needed to make better balance of her life.
Activities such as exercise, art or meditation are conducive to finding a state of flow ; an effective way to GSD — get stuff done. You may also find that is during the moments of ‘downtime’ is where the greatest ideas or solutions arise.
Have someone buzzing in your life? Starting rituals and routines such as Sunday morning walk or the equivalent activity to ‘date night’ may help them to wind down. Nothing like a bit of extreme sports or a puzzle to keep them present — just dependent upon their thrill-seeking appetite!
